“How exactly did you manage to clean the dishes wrong? You’re so stupid!”
Though the partner cheating (or thinking about cheating) is in the wrong, they are often also the one in the relationship trying to bring the other person down and causing issues, thanks to their own guilt over their thoughts and/or actions.
“Often someone who is cheating is feeling a lot of guilt,” says Bethany Ricciardi, a sex and relationship expert with TooTimid, an adult-only online store. “Your partner can easily take out this shame on you by making you feel bad about yourself.” If your partner has suddenly become more hostile and aggressive with no reasonable explanation, you might want to sit down with them and assess the longevity of your relationship.
“Sorry I haven’t texted today, work was really busy.”
Your partner used to text you every hour on the hour, but now they’re using “too much work” as an excuse to be MIA all day. If this sounds familiar, then be careful. It could be one of the red-flag signs of cheating that infidelity is on the horizon. “If your partner withdraws attention, then he or she might be giving it to other people,” says Bennett. “For example, if you used to get a lot of text messages and photos throughout the day but that suddenly stops with no explanation, someone else might be getting that attention.”
“I’m going to be traveling a lot more for work.”
Even if your spouse hasn’t ever considered cheating before, a promotion at work that offers them many opportunities to travel could mean trouble in paradise. Unfortunately, disposable income combined with work travel make cheating convenient, and so it’s best to discuss this possibility before it even happens.
“Powerful people have many opportunities—with travel, higher income, etc.—to both be offered and conceal infidelity,” says neuroscientist Nicole Prause, Ph.D. “If your partner is taking a position that will increase their travel, it is worth talking about your expectations regarding s3x.”