While claiming that men and women are simply wired differently may be an oversimplification, there’s something to be said for the notion that there are countless formative experiences unique to belonging to either group. And no matter how much work a woman puts into understanding the men in her life, there are simply some things that will continually baffle her.
You may try to be sensitive to his needs, you may try to see eye-to-eye, and you might even have more in common with him than the bulk of your female friends, but make no mistake: there will always be things about the male experience that you just can’t wrap your mind around.
With that in mind, we’ve compiled 40 things women will never understand about men, from his fears he’ll never be as handsome as a Hemsworth to why he balks at splitting the bill.
He wants to be appreciated, too.
Just like most women, men want to be appreciated, even if they’re loath to admit it. “He wants to know that you appreciate him for everything he does for you. He wants to know that you appreciate him for who he is. When you complain about all of the things he doesn’t do right, it is hard for him to feel that you value him,” says therapist Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, MS, LCPC, a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist and co-founder of the Marriage Restoration Project.
He’s genuinely worried about what his guy friends think.
The pressure to “be a man”—whatever that means—is all too real. And in many male group dynamics, being perceived as the weak link means you’re the target of non-stop teasing. So, if he seems different around a bunch of guy friends than he is around you, it’s not a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation—he’s just got some well-honed self-preservation instincts.
He feels weird when you talk to your friends about him.
For many women, talking about anything and everything with their inner circle is a no-brainer. However, that doesn’t mean that feeling judged by you and your friends isn’t hurtful. “When you make a joke about how he can’t find anything, that he doesn’t listen to what you say, or that he is a hermit, he doesn’t find it funny. When you criticize him in public, he feels shamed,” says Slatkin.